Turns out writing something funny every day is harder than we anticipated….
The Rugby Premiership restarts soon, so hopefully the blog will kick in to action again. Expect our ‘unique’ views on the return of Gavin Henson’s tan, Chris Ashton’s new hair cut, the Ford’s vs the Farrell’s, and possibly even some rugby. You can only hope…..
Now…. There are 2 ways you could take this film;
1. Salmon fishing in the Yemen/We bought a zoo vibe. Down on their luck, likeable white lower-middle class family make the radical decision to move to South Africa to run a ranch and escape the bitter memories left behind in America. On arrival all is not as it seemed when they initially entered in to the venture. They struggle for a portion of time that brings them to the brink of disaster until a junior member of the family unit discovers, through the virtue of a child’s innocent take on the world, a local delicacy made from monstrous avocados. One of the family members is sceptical about the idea and voices their concern but they eventually agree to go ahead with cultivating the new veg regardless. Everything is looking up for the family until another unforeseen trial strikes, threatening to ruin everything, this is then resolved by the sceptical member of the family working in tandem with the others, showing how through hardship people can be brought even closer. It would then end on a happy note where the audience can leave the film assured that the future of the family is secure (perhaps an order from ‘global food inc’ paying them megabucks for their avocados), they would all hug and then the main protagonist would say something like ‘well, those avocados aren’t gonna pick themselves!’ they all laugh. Fade to credits with uplifting string score. There would also be an unlikely convoluted love story running parallel, where the adolescent of the group would get the infeasibly good looking local girl at the end. It would go like this- they arrive > he is resented by her because he ‘doesn’t understand’ Africa > he resents her for resenting him > a session of picking avocados in the rain and being stranded in a cave to ride out the storm sees the first flicker of attraction > they become closer > he does something to make her think ‘you haven’t learnt anything at all!’ > they aren’t friends anymore > he does something too make her rescind this opinion > looooong meeeeeaningful looooooook > snog. Possibly in the rain again.
2. Giant alien avocados drop out of the sky like meteorites, flooding the worlds atmosphere with guacamole, until a hero emerges with enormous Doritos, and eats the planet to safety. ‘TODAY WE CANCEL THE DIP AND CHIPS!!!’